Kathryn + Alcohol =
by Kyla1
Summary: Pure silliness, one night a very drunk Captain talks to her first officer (btw probably AU bc KJ would NEVER act like this!) WARNING: not meant to be taken too seriously!


"Chakotay to Janeway

Disclaimer: Janeway Chakotay and Paris do not belong to me. 

Note: This is based on a situation I was in about a week ago when one of my 'platonic' male friends phoned me up and confessed his undying love. Some of this is actually taken from that very interesting conversation! Needless to say he couldn't remember a word of it! Oh one thing, the line 'I'm not drunk, I'm just happy' belongs solely to me as I say it every single time I'm a little worse for wear, so no nicking it without asking! Lol! ;-)

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Kathryn + alcohol = 

"Chakotay to Janeway."

__

Slurring "Janeway here." 

"Captain I was wondering if you had that report on that M class planet."

"Hang on, I'll check" _Thud_

"Captain are you all right?"

"I just misjudged the distance on the couch," _Giggles _"Nope, haven't got it, it was boring anyway, go find something else more interesting to read." 

"Ok then Captain, if you don't mind me asking, have you been drinking?"

"Only very very ikkle tiny bit, it's my birthday present." 

"But it's not your birthday."

"Captains pero…prog…preg, I wanted to!" _Giggles again_

Smiling "Ok Captain, have a good night." 

"Be better if I had some company." _Attempts to sound seductive but spoils it by hiccuping. _

"Captain I think you should slow down, you've got an early shift tomorrow."

"Oh bollocks, hic, oh well I just drink lot's and lot's of coffee."

"You always drink lot's and lot's of coffee."

"Thash cos coffee's my friend, it keeps me awake."

"Yes Captain, good night." 

"Night night Chakotay." 

__

Silence

"Janeway to Chakotay."

"Yes Captain?"

"Ish the floor sposed to be moving?"  
"The floor isn't moving."

"Oh," _Pause, _"Ok," _Thud_

"Captain?"  
"The floor is moving, it made me fall over."

"I think it's just you."

"Are you sure? Maybe I should call 'Lanna."

"I don't think that's a good idea Captain."

"Why?"

"Because you'll be very embarrassed tomorrow if you do."

"Ok then Chak, I believe you cos ure my bestest buddy."

__

Chuckling "Whatever you say Captain." 

"Ish true! My bestest ever bud, d'you wanna know something Chakotay."

"What's that Captain?"

"I love you loads and loads I do,"

"Captain.."

"Call me Kaffryn."

"Ok Kathryn, you don't love me loads and loads, you're drunk."

"I am not! I'm just very very happy and I do love you loads and loads, I just never say it."

"Is that so Capt…Kathryn?"

"Yesh it is, I even loved you before that weird made up story about angry Quarriors and Weens, I mean Warriors and Queens."

"That wasn't made up, it's an ancient legend!" _Laughing _

"Was so made up, anyway I wanna hear the rest of the story."

"I'll tell you when you're sober,"

"I'll still love you loads and loads when I'm sober."

"Will you now? I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't believe you do love me loads and loads."

"Do to," _Bang, crash, thump._

"Kathryn what are you doing?"

"Going to bed but the table got in the way."

"Ok then."

__

Flop "There we go, now I'm in bed."

"Ok then Kathryn." _Silence, _"Kathryn?"

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

__

Laughs

Next morning:

"Janeway to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here."

"You haven't got any spare hydro-sprays have you?"

"And why is that Captain?"

"Because I've run out and I don't want to go get lectured by the Doctor."

"Told you you'd be hungover."

"I am not hungover! I'm just…wait a minute, did I talk to you last night?"

"Yup."

"Oh hell, what did I say?"

"That would be telling."

__

Warningly, "Commander."

"Well I seem to remember you telling me that you thought my wonderful Queen and Angry Warrior legend, or was it Ween and Quarrior? Anyway you told me you thought that was made up."

"Are you sure that was all I said? I know I get very honest when I've had one to many."

"I thought you were just happy?"

"Ha ha (!)"

__

silence

"You know it's a pity you won't tell me what I said."

"Why is that Captain?"

"Because then I would be forced to admit that it's all true."

"Really?"  
"mm hmm, and I usually have a very good memory for everything I say, trouble is I can't seem to remember last night, though I'm sure anything I said was 100% truthful."

"Well actually Captain you did say…"

__

Grinning to self "Janeway out."

__

Silence

"Chakotay to Paris."

"Yes Commander."

"Haven't got any spare bottles of real wine have you?"

__

FIN!!

Feedback please thank you kindly!!


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